Wednesday, January 03, 2007

diving in again

The year has just begun and I'm craving a beach holiday, already.

After coming back to my apartment with the goal of some serious hibernation time to recharge my mental, emotional and spiritual batteries, I procrastinated for two days by cleaning house. Plus I consistently haven't been sleeping well since I've been back... barely enough energy to make it through my greeting duties at church on Sunday and then through the New Year's Eve party. A little drink helped with enough energy to ring in the new year.

Enough procrastination already. January 1 and 2 finally settled down in spirit enough to have some chill time with God to try starting the year off right. The day was pensive and somewhat sobering as I reflected on 2006 and looked ahead to 2007.

Last year was an amazing year by all kinds of standards. According to my productivity standard (which often is out of whack and unreasonably high), a lot was accomplished -- both work wise and personally speaking. My task-driven side should be satisfied, yet all these big giant tick marks on my to-do list left me profoundly dissatisfied. But I am thankful, because I think my productivity-work idol is finally showing its true colours and leaving me dry enough that I actually want to give it up. I've always known in my head that relationships are the important thing in life, but I think this new year I actually believe that in my heart and want to make relationships a bigger priority than my task projects this year.

January 3. The calls and emails start coming. I'm overwhelmed already. I want to hide on a beach somewhere before the avalanche of a year starts. I look at the waves and start to sink. I need to fix my gaze on Jesus. There is promise to do the impossible as I follow in his steps. I hope it's a year of walking on water. Hold on tight -- it's going to be a wild ride.

2 comments:

dilys said...

schedule time to do fun things, justine! it makes the busy, crazy times all the more endurable. h

enitsuj said...

yes, you're right Dilys, thanks for the suggestion. That's pretty sad eh? I need to have "mandatory fun" in my life...I'm also realizing though that half my battles are in the mind. I realized the other day that one particular task I was hyping up to be way more than it was and as I tried to express it to someone else, I saw it more clearly and saw how it really wasn't that big a deal!